nu'u matamata (neighbourhood watch...sort of)

“You do too much- college, a job, all this time with me...you're not Superman you know!” 
- Aunt May to Peter Parker, in Spiderman

“These are the people in your neighbourhood, 
in your neighborhood, 
in your neighbourhoo-ood.
The people that you meet,
when you're walking down the street.
They're the people that you meet each day.”
- Sesame Street

I'll admit it- back when I had a TV, there was little on a Saturday morning which gave me more pleasure as a grown man...than a cup of tea, a piece of toast, a kiss from my wife...and ½ an hour of watching an animated super hero kick the crud out of  an interminable line up of villains- snapping out a witty reparte between kicks and punches, and squeezing a wee philosophical conundrum into each episode.

Comic book stories...ordinary folks in ordinary lives, thrust improbably and unexpectedly into the role of guardian to the masses after being imbued with an extraordinary mix of talents...only to find  that the criminals appear to have been similarly endowed through a series of events which would have been just as improbable- had the first event not occurred...thus rendering each subsequent event marginally more probable, and so on...

In the absence of Saturday morning cartoons,  I'm beginning to see prospective heroes around every corner...they may not be climbing skyscrapers (possibly only for lack of building choice) or have the physical resiliance of a 20 cent rubber superball (although it's hard to tell until you've been punched through a brick wall by a maniacally managed robotic arm)...still, one of these ordinary people whose paths I cross each day share could be the next Peter Parker...

Name: Alex (aka Alexi De Poxa)
Occupation: Plantation owner; former professional boxer
Usually Seen: Carrying 2 dozen niu (coconut) or a basket of kapisi vai (watercress) from his place downhill to the markets in the hot morning sun...or in the evenings on the grass by the road, knocking back beer and waving at passing cars.
Possible Superpowers:
- Resistance to know poisons....has the ability to absorb 6 big bottles of Taula without any noticible effect to his mood, routine or English language skills...(which may not be great, but if we both drank that much beer, he'd make more sense than I would).
- Linguist and musician...has the ability to sing almost any song loudly in a mix of languages (often to a different tune or using different lyrics to those which may be associated with the “original” version...)

Name: Alan (aka God's Guard)
Occupation: Security
Usually seen: guarding the bank managers property, or a High Commission- often at both on the same day.
Possible Superpowers:
- Ability to work multiple 10 hour shifts back to back for $2.60 an hour, while  maintaining a constant heightened level of vigilance from a nap like position.
Sidekick:
- Often refers to being watched over by the power of the Holy Spirit (who appears to alternate shifts.)

Name: Daniel (aka the Thyme Lord)
Occupation: Bus Driver and Commercial Cleaner
Usually Seen: Driving the cross Island Rd
Possible Superpower:
- Able to support a large family and maintain separate homes and businesses in Apia and Perth simultaneously...and still not terribly concerned about collecting every 2 tala bus fare (it may not be a superpower, but it's pretty impressive)
Super Vehicle:
Daniel's 'Tardis' like mini-bus appears seems to defy the laws of physics and space, never quite achieving full capacity...it's like that tiny car full of endless (tubby brown) clowns at the circus...
In this case, none of whom seem concerned with the burning Vegemite smell of impending brake failure...but, I guess that wouldn't worry a super-hero, would it?

See Spot Run

"Hey there Little Red Riding Hood
You sure are looking good
You're everything a big bad wolf could want

Listen to me
Little Red Riding Hood
I don't think little big girls should
Go walking in these spooky old woods alone
Owoooooooo"- Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs Li'l Red Riding Hood

“Spot” and his brother,“Not Spot”,  are a pair of puppies that showed up my place on the weekend looking for a feed. They look part Dalmation- but they could be part Croation, for all I know… they’re cute though. One has a spot on his head…guess which?

Spot and Not Spot have no shame- they're starving. Their bony frames are under my feet and stealing food from the bowls of our other dogs before I can rest them on the ground. They're tolerated by our resident pack...ageing black lab' impressionist Captain Nemo,  his trusty baker and companion Constanza (who appears to have yet another bun in the puppy oven) and recent additon Leiutenant Dan...who looks like their love child, but acts like he's part ferel squirrel (so jumpy that if I move too quickly, he tries to climb the nearest tree to hide his nuts for the Winter).

Spot and Not Spot had a big adventure yesterday...when they tried to follow me to work.

In the 7 or 8km between home and work, I'd estimate there is at least 100 dogs. They're not dogs as you know them...they're the things that grow out of neglected, starving puppies like Spot and Not Spot...they're the things that were able to grow.

Spot and Not Spot had had a nice weekend... food, a pat, somewhere dry to lay down on my deck...things were looking up. They got excited- they got so excited, that they followed my pack- Captain, Cozzie and Lefty, out with me on the way to work. 

Now, after about 50m my dogs stop...and turn home. They know, as I do, that the “free range” of dogs in Samoa is illusory. In truth, they're bound in by the territory of the packs on every side (in what passes for logic here- that's one of the reason every compound has dogs- to keep other dogs out.)

Spot and Not Spot had yet to learn this- they didn't turn back, they followed me at a distance of 20m or so, weaving on and off the grass and onto the road...I shouted at them, I threw sticks near them...I thought they'll turn back in a minute.

And then some other dogs smelt them...and the rest is like a not very nice children's story.

See Spot

See Not Spot

See Not Spot cower and cry

See the bad dog eat Not Spot

Shreik, Not Spot, shriek

Run Spot Run

As I carried Not Spot back up the hill, with Spot trailing me, I could see the saliva marks neatly sectioning his body in half. Thankfully, the other dog hadn't bitten- maybe he was just warning his new neighbour about the rules. Not Spot's eyes looked like his eyelids were having difficulty holding them in. He didn't move, and his tick and flea covered coat was now also soaked in urine and saliva...as were the clothes I wore. When I got home, a neighbour held them for a few minutes, while I left the compound.

These aren't our dogs. When I arrived at smurfy, Cozzie and Captain were resident and starving. We dosed them for worms, fleas and ticks, and started to feed them properly. You can't touch Cozzie- and we've tried to catch her to desex, but she's resisted everything from blowpipes and nets, to drugged food. Leutenant Dan showed up starving a month ago. Spot and Not Spot make 5. My food budget is shrinking accordingly...(if it begins to affect my beer budget, something will have to give..)

Of the 100 or so dogs I see every day down the hill- more than half are underweight and almost all live purely on household scraps...they might be considered neglected in a different place...a few are walking skins stuffed with bones; some wear grey ticks in their dozens so that they look miniature steeds in chainmail...most are fearful, some are dangerous, very few are desexed.

My neighbour is a  VSA vet, he's been here almost 2 years working with a local charity. His core role is dog desexing. He's the only practising Vet in the country. And he's here as a volunteer without pay.

bust it

“I know many you out there might think I'm crazy…so just now I mixed 2 points of ‘Ice’ with 30cc fresh coconut juice…”
- Lychee, intravenous drug user & idiot.

"Picking coconuts is quite common on the island…it's just that Keith had a bit of an accident coming down."
- Fijiian witness to musician & drug fan Keith Richards falling from a coconut tree

“Bust a nut in your eyes- so you see where I'm coming from.”
- Lil Wayne, rapper-producer & probable drug user & Keith Richards fan.

The humble niu (drinking coconut) is an emblem of the Pacific in the collective eyes of the world.

For holidaymakers- work seems a long way away when you’re drinking in a vista of swaying coconut palms, & sucking down an icy niu malulu …with or without teeny tropical umbrella, fruit nuggets, & a generous dash or 3 of your favourite spirit.

The direct mental association of the coconut is enough for it to have developed into a term of endearment for Pacific Islanders (or a term of derogation, depending on the object & the source).

“Coconut water” is global flavour of the month for elite athletes seeking a fluid replenishment without the high sugar or sodium of manufactured alternatives. The sterile, mineral rich water tapped into the fruit through the coconut palm is even suitable for a temporary blood transfusion in a pinch. In the tunnels of Cu-Chi, Vietnam I heard stories of niu saving lives during the “American War”. There are also records of allied soldiers using coconut water in emergency field hospitals in WWII… & (for my brother- the aspiring Chilean mountain biker) coconut water is even better than milk for keeping a lost tooth viable. 

So why, for the love of druce, why is it so hard to get a niu in a Samoan bar?

I’ve had a lower than 50% strike rate on ordering coconuts on the menu in bars & resorts- & I’ve been to a few. Sitting next to a coconut palm, having walked past a roadside stalls & markets crammed with freshly husked niu for a dollar…it defies belief to hear a barman (the term barman is applied in the loosest sense possible) advising you that niu are not available today…

They’re on the trees, they’re on the road, they’re on the flippin bar menu at $5 a pop, but they’re not- for some reason- on the bar.

It’s left me like Keith Richards beneath a coconut palm- stunned. They cost nothing, they’re plentiful, they’re a tourist favourite…for nuts sake- they’re everywhere! 

In the early part of the 20th Century, Samoan copra (coconut oil) production led the world by volume…it was an agricultural jewel in the Kaisers crown (...or agricultural spike on his funny hat, anyway). 

There are still something like 5000 acres of aging coconut palms- many of which date back to colonial rule, a small portion of which are used for commercial gain in Samoa. OK, so the bottom end of the copra market dropped out with the spread of electricity…but I don’t want to fuel a freakin hurricane lamp or make soap- I just want a refreshing beverage in the shape of something which is clearly mentioned in my travel insurance as being so flippin plentiful that they are a credible risk of killing you by dropping from above without warning!! 

It’s easy to criticise…(by god it’s easy)…

but… the Samoan tourism industry needs help, not criticism. It’s a waning option in a competitive Pacific market which is gaining momentum. Samoan Tourism Authority figures released earlier this month aren’t encouraging- indicating flat tourist numbers over the last half decade, & recent declines. The success of Fiji points the way to tourist success…better options, better service, better cooperation & better marketing… like that singular, sexy catchphrase- ”Fiji Me”- suggestive, seductive & simple.

As Hip Hop culture sweeps the globe & Samoan youths swagger the streets of Sydney, LA, Brisbane & Auckland, swaying in their NFL & NBA merchandise to Beats headphones segregating them to the verses of Drake, Whiz or old school Dre…I smell opportunity & I see a newly suggestive Samoan tourism slogan. All pacific, with a hip-hop twist… a nod to the niu & old…

who wouldn’t want to… “Bust-a-nut in Samoa”

http://www.thesweetbeet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Coconuts_transfusions.pdf

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/archive/index.php/t-621610.html

How to Train Your Dragon (Part 2)

"I'm tired of the city life, Summer's on the run
People tell me I should stay, but I got to get my fun
So don't try to hold me back, there's nothing you can say
Snake eyes on the paradise, and we got to go today."- Dragon April Sun in Cuba 

A small number of Chinese traders had settled in Samoa prior to 1900. Like their European counterparts- stories varied widely and wildly in how and why they found themselves so far from home, at the Pacific frontier.

But it was the change to German jurisdiction in 1900 (after a dissolved marriage of English, American and German interests), that dramatically increased the Chinese population.

German agricultural interests, in particular the copra industry had expanded exponentially, to over 7500 acres of plantations in Savaii and Upolu. Unfortunately sufficient labour- willing, hard working, low cost, reliable labour- wasn’t readily available.

The first Chinese indentured labourers arrived in 1903. Coming from China & Hong Kong- single men, contracted and paid, and lured with both a promise of a better future, and the occasional flashy poster displaying a happy worker picking tropical fruit under the desirous gaze of a dusky (should have been husky) maiden.

Workers were worth their fare and more still- and between 1903 and 1913 almost 3900 were shipped across the world under the German administration. The population of indentured Chinese labour peaked in 1914 at 2184 men. 1914 however also ushered in NZ governance, at the outbreak of WW1.

The original contracts were always for a set period- usually of 3 years- with the intention of the workers being returned to their homeland. The NZ Administration initially expedited the return of workers to China, but quickly discovered the previously obvious labour issues, and so the practice of indenture began again, although the peak in Chinese nationals in Samoa had already been reached in 1914, and after 1922 would steadily decrease to a trickle.

Conditions of work varied from fair but hard- to not very fair at all and hard- to abusive. But for the most part, the lot of workers was acceptable enough for many to reapply and stay several terms. They were held in high regard for their diligence with landowners, and mutually beneficial relationships naturally formed

As happens, nature took her own course, and it eventuated that many of the single men who arrived neglected to remain so. Cunningly, the NZ administration attempted to overcome such relationships, and the assimilation of the Chinese- by outlawing marriage of immigrants “liable to repatriation”…to Samoan women.

Following is taken from Pacific Islands Monthly 15/7/1939

“On 21 June an extraordinary scene took place when 34 Chinese labourers from the New Zealand Repatriation Estates and the same number of Samoan women lined up to hear their sentence for co-habitating in violation of the law. The 3 men were sentenced to 3 months in prison and the women to 3 days in prison.”

It was 1961 before these laws were repealed and Chinese and Samoans could legally be entrapped in a matrimonial sense by the opposite sex…

Many Chinese-Samoan families went onto to “free” lives, moving from plantations into commerce and laying the foundations of many of today’s most successful commercial enterprises in Samoa. They became Samoans, taking up civil and village roles and responsibilities, becoming matai and other leaders.

Of note- shortly after achieving independence in 1962; as an acknowledgment of it’s minority groups and their standing outside of the aiga and matai system- Samoa incorporated in its constitution political rights for part-Europeans and Chinese to vote and be members of parliament by setting aside two seats to be elected by the independent voters. These seats remain a point of political debate.

Comments in some public forums reveal divisive minority attitudes to both Saino-Samoans, and European afa-kasi. Well over a century after the ancestors of these families were welcomed and worked to integrate themselves into Samoan society, weaving their lives from opposite ends of the social strata- through marriage, children and work, with Samoans of all ranks…there are still those who would distinguish between Samoans and the decendents of Chinese, German or English afa-kasi. But these voices represent a fraction, and a type which exist everywhere… deserving only of disregard.

On islands populated by 190,000 affable people- occasionally downright amorous people- arguments of race, in any sense, are laughable.

It’s also difficult to take seriously the objections of Australia and New Zealand in terms of Chinese “influence” in the Pacific.

Chinese influence in Samoa extends almost precisely as far back as that of the English and Americans. It’s also clear that while the Chinese initially had less control over the fate of their integration into Samoan society, time has found them in a remarkably similar standing to the families descended from German, English and American free settlers and land owners, The commonalities between the people of Samoa and China, the shared history, and the agreements reached today will always float upon the tide of the time- agreements are made between men on behalf of nations, not the other way around.

How to Train Your Dragon (Part 1)

Part 1…China & Samoa

“Kneel and behold your new king, 

Digital dreams and wonderful things to tease you
Small gods with electrical hearts and it all will end
Time to be killing the dragon again”
- Dio Killing the Dragon

“And I found myself in a better time
a rose and a velvet glove
seven seas of mystery
gifts of gold 'n' love”
- LA Guns Chasing the Dragon

China increased aid to the Pacific from USD $33 million 2005 to $293 million in 2007. 

By 2009, it had exceeded an estimated USD $1.9bn for the decade. 

(n.b. China's aid figures are not published by the PRC- and there is a grey area between grants and concessional loans.)

“China’s investment in Samoa as of June this year has climbed to more than $600 million tala.” 
“The trade between our two countries has grown steadily, increasing 89% last year to the new high of $170 million tala.” 

- Savali News Oct 09 2013

“China’s aid is sincere, pragmatic, given with no political strings attached, is nonreciprocal and given on the basis of equality…China understands the needs and aspirations of other developing countries…” 

- Ambassador Li Yanduan (Samoa) 5th Jan 2014

“… the Chinese government has extended the zero-tariff policy to Samoa...”
“China pledged US $2 billion of concessional loans for Pacific Island Countries... 

the China Development Bank also announced USD $2bn special loans…”
- Ambassador Li Yanduan (Samoa) 17th Feb 2015 2014

“We can only hope that China will forgive the loans and they are written off as gifts or grants.”

- Dr Salele, Samoan Opposition Leader, Samoan Observer Jan 31st 2015

“…in 2006 China forgave a $US 11.5 million debt owed by Samoa…”

- LEAM discussion Paper- The People’s Republic of China’s Aid Program in Oceania 2005-2009

Sometimes referred to by Apia locals as the "Chinese monuments"...the following buildings have been either gifted to Samoa or built using a concessional loan-  the design, construction contractors and materials have been predominantly Chinese: 

· 1994- Government Building (5 story office of Prime Minister, Foreign Affairs and Cabinet) 

· 1995- Ministry of Women & Sogi Hall
· 2007- Apia Sports Complex renovation & Aquatic Center - USD $10.8 million 
(Samoa hosted 2007 South Pacific Games - 22 Chinese coaches were sent to train Samoa's team ). 

· 2008- Parliamentary Office Complex USD $17 million.
· 2010- Ministry of Justice and courts complex- USD $6 million
· 2007-2010 China had built three public schools at the cost of USD $1 million each.
· 2012- Government Office Complex and Conference Center- USD $44 million 

On tertiary education…on average 50-60 Samoan students in China undertaking graduate and post graduate studies under Chinese Scholarships...& a further 25 annually as part of its China-Samoa Scholarship Scheme...9 more potential places in the China-Pacific Islands Forum Scholarships....& the the Technical Cooperation Training Program sends at least 15 candidates annually on 4 month placements in China...

On health- the second stage of the new Hospital in Apia (Moto'otua) is expected to be completed in 2015, at a cost of $ST135 million (NZ$73 million) using funds loaned from the Chinese Development Bank...Stage 1 at a cost of ST$70M became operational in 2014...on top of this, has been millions in donated special equipment. NZ also helped fund new medical equipment worth $ST12 million.

Since 1986, China has sent 14 two year term expert medical teams...112 doctors.

Over the next five years, China will provide 5,000 training opportunities for Pacific Islanders.

On disaster relief…and other odd bits...
· 2004 after Cyclone Heta USD $100,000
· 2004 a fleet of 20 limos worth USD $1.25 million for the Pacific Forum leader's meeting.
· 2007 assistance of USD $100,000 to Samoan government for Head of State's state funeral.
· 2009 earthquake and tsunami, USD $100,000
· 2014 ST $15M in equipment and vehicles to host the Small Island Developing States conference.

“ Today, people tend to question the motivation behind China's gifts. 

Tomorrow, they'll probably only remember the gifts. 

Anyone who asked an average Samoan in this century "who helps Samoa?" will get the answer, "New Zealand, Australia and China"~ and not necessarily in that order. 

If actions speak louder than words, then our actions, louder than our statements of support, are saying, "the Pacific and Samoa in particular, are not really important to the United States." 

- above extract from leaked email US Embassy Apia to Washington, Feb 2, 2010

https://cablegatesearch.wikileaks.org/cable.php?id=10APIA2
http://www.leamplus.eu/files/LEAM_Discussion_Paper_1.pdf
http://www.savalinews.com/2013/10/09/china-commits-more-aid-to-samoa/
http://www.islandsbusiness.com/news/samoa/1662/new-hospital-opens-in-samoa/

http://www.samoaobserver.ws/home/headlines/5712-70m-phase-of-new-hospital-opens

cargo

“...in the back of the ute., on a blanket with the tailgate down; a coupla cans and a Vegemite sandwich, and we'll go rootin in the back of the ute. ”

"Twenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogs
All squeezed in the front seat with the wireless turned full on"

-  Kevin Bloody Wilson Rootin' in the back of the Ute and Living Next Door to Alan

There are more twin cab diesel utes getting about Apia than there are BMW's and Porsches in the suburbs between Ponsonby & Parnell combined. They're the preferred choice of locals and expats who can afford them- and of development agencies and government departments who need both transportation and to exhaust their budgets in time for replenishment. 

(In one recent case- several newer ministry utes were sidelined several months into an agricultural project- because they'd used so much of their allowance on purchasing the new fleet of vehicles, that the fuel budget was insufficient to run them all...)

On an island less than 80km long, with extensive sealed roading it can only make sense when you're sitting in the back of one. 

Sure you can fit 6 people you know, 3 you don't, a crate of beers, a dog or two and 4 more bodies in the front of a twin cab ute (do I mean 5 people in the cab? not in Samoa)...and yes, utes outperform a minibus in both accommodation and sex appeal...but the attraction they hold is greater still than that...and you have to be sitting in the back to feel it.

Sitting on the back of a ute holds a pleasure which we have forgotten in all but the most rural areas of Australia & New Zealand. It's something we lost- sacrificed to the gods of road safety statistics and funlessness (what? that might be a word...). 

It is the comfort, the sheer enjoyment, the release- of being cargo.

 

Wind in your face, sun on your back, stinging rain in your eyes, or wet dog in your lap- it doesn't matter...what matters is the relinquishing of control to a force greater than you- namely a driver to whom you cannot comment, on a route over which you hold no control and a completely rearward view prohibitive of any expectation or warning. The back of a ute, no matter the weather, no matter the destination and no matter the company is in fact a bloody relaxing place to be. Time doesn't so much stop- as look the other way for a bit, and when it looks back, you've moved on. There is a powerlessness in being cargo...completely devoid of responsibility or presumption...just along for the ride- just ask Shappelle Corby's body board bag. 

There few pleasures, truly simple pleasures, like bouncing about in the back of a ute on a sunny day, waving at the occasional stranger, getting both sun and wind burnt and wondering whether the rattling tailgate you're sitting on is secure. I'm beginning to think that they may work as some sort of low budget adventure tour...

My advice to you- if you're at home, and you have a ute...is leave now- pick someone up who looks like they need a lift...then give them the keys, jump in the back and enjoy the ride...

TripAdvisor

"There's no stopping me honey, so you can take my hand,
We can lay on the beach and count grains of sand,
Or take a plane to Japan, and drink saki with mafia,
Fly to Libya for some Bacardi with Gadafi a
Dinner date, followed by a funk show, (uhh,)
We'll rip off our tops and jump around in the front row." - Hilltop Hoods Nosebleed Section

There’s nothing like the occasional email from Trip advisor, flattering you that your opinion matters- to remind you that you’re actually having a bloody good time, and it’s very possible that you’re just a little bit spoilt.

While I’ve been counting down the days to getting home for a week in NZ with my darling wife…I’ve also been flitting about the islands like a some sort of social butterfly. From the retreat at Aggies a fortnight ago, to Manono Island last weekend, to ocean kayaking on Monday this week, with half a dozen dinner invitations in between…frankly, that would have been a years worth of outings at home.

Another ex VSA volunteer hooked me up with an Ocean Kayak “day out” this week. One of the local operators was filming promotional materials, and needed bodies to fill the fun-boats. I didn’t need to be asked twice to take up what would normally cost a weeks wages, for free…and so spent I much of Monday gliding across still aquamarine waters- watching turtles, reef sharks and fish aplenty. The weather wasn’t golden- in fact it was a bit blowy and overcast, but that just added to the adventure. A little bit of swell now and then to vary the mirror like lagoon. A fresh fruit and salad lunch beneath a tree on the beach, out of the drizzle - a hot afternoon tea on return (deep fried banana donuts and sweet coffee)…and frankly, it the kind of complete and satisfying day to which I had little right, having woken up with a Vailima frosting on my consciousness...

The volunteer/expat community here is pretty cool- even for the socially inadept such as myself. In fact especially for us- because most of these people have departed “normal lives”, to do something new and adventurous, and many of them have made significant sacrifices simply to be here. The chance to actually enjoy it all could easily slip away. While I miss my family - you can be lonely, but there’s no excuse to be alone. I can be sharing lunch, dinner, or tourist type experiences at the drop of a hat, providing I have the nouse to accept every fair invitation which comes my way. If I’ve learned anything at all from the parable of walking the home and back each day- it’s that if you don’t accept the occasional invitation of a lift, eventually the offers will wane.

Anyway, while I try to remain immune to Trip Advisor's unsubtle flattery (just 4 more reviews and I too could be a senior advisor? "I wrote it and they love it"...oooh, stoppit...)

I guess I’m not above taking a sec to let someone else know the places I’ve enjoyed- to share the luff….http://www.tripadvisor.com/