Using cruise control, you know- reaching over she likes to tease
She said let's ride, rev it up, rev it up little boy and ride
She said let's ride, rev it up, rev it up, little boy, and ride
Just use your body, don't you hitch-hike
When you ride with me, little boy, take it any where you like..."
- Jerry Harrison "Rev it up"
Samoans may be the most considerate drivers in the world.
Classical road rules are rejected in favour of a toot, raised eyebrows and importantly- an empathetic observation of the other driver (...but just one other driver- this skill is singular…every driver other than the one being considered with this telepathic emotional ability, is an inconvenience which can and must be ignored.)
The authority of the Police adds a great deal in this environment, and every day at peak times, police can be seen adding imbecilic icing to the chaotic cake, by standing only at intersections where there are existing traffic lights, pedestrian crossings and round-a-bouts…directing traffic in white gloves (sometimes just one glove, covered in rhinestones- often using nothing but late 80's dance moves…OMG…what if the King isn’t dead?)
Classical road rules are rejected in favour of a toot, raised eyebrows and importantly- an empathetic observation of the other driver (...but just one other driver- this skill is singular…every driver other than the one being considered with this telepathic emotional ability, is an inconvenience which can and must be ignored.)
You can turn left anytime…anytime. There’s only about 5 sets of traffic lights in the country, but if you feel as though the red light is mistimed, or has failed to fully consider the importance of your journey, or if you’re turning left- go right ahead.
A series of potholes indicates “pedestrian speed would be too fast here- give way to everything except pedestrians”. Nothing ever indicates giving way to pedestrians. Driveways, pedestrian crossings, and footpaths- are all zones within which pedestrians are both unexpected, and discouraged. They are instead places to park, possible ambush sites, and good spots to stop and converse with cousins or police (sometimes over a beer).
A taxi doing 10km/h uphill in a 50km speed zone, with a trail of 5-10 vehicles behind him, is as acceptable as overtaking a bus going downhill at 70km on a blind corner- in the same zone. Nothing should inspire anybody ever to toot in anger- a nominal toot generally indicates “I’m about to perform a dangerous and exciting manoeuvre in your vicinity- look away.”
Mood and weather are critical to what has been dubbed the “samoan tele-empathetic intuitive navigational knack”… or simply S.T.I.N.K. driving.
It doesn’t stop when they stop either….parking, especially to offload passengers, should be as close as possible to the building entrance…walking is a cultural taboo. Can I:
…double park? -Yep;
…in the road? -no problem;
…block lanes in both directions stopping traffic? -How fat is the passenger?
…in local terms? -OK, just do it;
…Leave the road, mount the footpath, and get in-between the school fence and the bus offloading school kids? -Why not?
…in the road? -no problem;
…block lanes in both directions stopping traffic? -How fat is the passenger?
…in local terms? -OK, just do it;
…Leave the road, mount the footpath, and get in-between the school fence and the bus offloading school kids? -Why not?
The authority of the Police adds a great deal in this environment, and every day at peak times, police can be seen adding imbecilic icing to the chaotic cake, by standing only at intersections where there are existing traffic lights, pedestrian crossings and round-a-bouts…directing traffic in white gloves (sometimes just one glove, covered in rhinestones- often using nothing but late 80's dance moves…OMG…what if the King isn’t dead?)
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